Thursday, May 24, 2012

Thursday's things

A dear friend of mine recently experienced a situation that all of us have experienced at some point...leading to feelings of hurt and resentment, which got me thinking about how I, myself, handle forgiveness. If you haven't figured out by now, I'm a fairly emotional person. I take heart with my actions and try terribly to please everyone, say the right things, and be a friend to everyone. However, in doing so I often find myself buried chest deep in doubt and worry, and even sometimes anger. The husband always says, "you're gonna have to let this go". And I know he's right but sometimes it's not so easy. Which got me thinking about letting things go in general, what it means to forgive, listen, and understand...how is it that sometimes we are so blindsided by the truth that we...make up our own? There are always two sides to every story...good or bad. Don't you remember playing that game "I've got a secret" in elementary school? The teacher would tell the first person on the first row of the classroom a secret. We'd sit there in our little wooden seats with baited breath as the first student whispered to the next and then that classmate whispered it to the next and so on and so forth. The excitement building...what could it be? What "would" it be by the time it got to me? Rarely did the exact secret the teacher told ever make it to the last person correctly. It evolved, grew or got smaller, less wordy or more wordy, or sometimes it changed completely. What happens though in every day life when we make up our own "truth"? Sometimes in life we get knocked down...the wind taken right away as if we can't possibly draw another breath...but what makes us unique and resilient is that we have the ability to learn from mistakes...whether they're our own or others. We can pick ourselves and the pieces up and move on. But, to do so without regret, isn't it only fair to get both sides of the story? How is it possible to forgive only one side? Doesn't that just make you a hypocrite? And so I say this...in the immortal words of Paul Harvey...(sort of)...you should get "the rest of the story". To be a good-hearted person, true to faith, and capable of love...you have to be able to forgive or the chip will only get bigger, heavier...driving everyone away. How do you "let things go"? Do you prefer to get things off your chest, talk it out, forgive and move on, or do you stew about things? In thinking about what it means to forgive...I came across this from the Mayo Clinic...
What is forgiveness? Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
And so, think about your actions, make sure you're putting your best foot forward, and remember that moving away from your role as a victim is essential...because there is rarely one victim in a disagreement...in fact, sometimes there is an entire family.

image credit: weheartit
quote credit: The Mayo Clinic

1 comment:

  1. Stephanie FriedmanMay 27, 2012 at 10:07 PM

    beautiful emily. beautiful. To forgive is to set a prisoner free & discover that prisoner was you.
    Blog is interesting & inspiring.

    ReplyDelete

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