a blog of random thoughts flying through my head with the ease of a pelican and the poignancy of a well dressed, well spoken, opinionated girl from the south.
Friday, August 19, 2011
It won't be like this for long...
This isn't a blog about the woes of motherhood, but...woe is me. After a day of transition, I'm feeling defeated. Yet, I keep telling myself...she's only 2. After months of trying to interest her in the potty, giving up the pacifier, and trying to convince her that when I drop her off at preschool I am indeed coming back to get her...which I have done without fail since she started even though she cries like it's the first day...every single day. These are the transitions that make me nervous...nervous that I'm doing things the wrong way, that I'm never going to master these little milestones of life. I know that everyone must feel this way at some point but while out and about I often marvel at how well adjusted some mother's are...how they accommodate their children's needs and wants and desires without so much as breaking a sweat. I can tell you that most days I am sweaty and exhausted. And, yes...for the millionth time, she is my only child! Why does everyone always ask that? Are they hoping I'm better with my "other children"? Better, at controlling the whining and meltdowns? When the toddler was just an infant...about 6 months old...we were at a cocktail party in honor of my Father-in-law, so the toddler, er...infant was in attendance...sitting comfortably in her bouncy seat admiring all the sparkle and noise...when a dear family friend said to me, "you look wonderful, you have that new mother glow" to which the husband replied..."that glow is sweat". It's true, in the early days we felt like we were just winging it. Taking things as they came, one thing at a time. It's funny...when you're pregnant you go to all those swanky baby stores and register for every item you're told you "need" or just can't live without...yet, the one thing you need more than anything in the world, the one thing that will get you through the sleepless nights, through the teething, through the constant questions, through all the tears, meltdowns, skinned knees, and transition periods...is something that's not on the shelf, not on any registries... it's patience. After a traumatic, tear-filled trip to the dentist yesterday and a night of trying to break the toddler of her pacifier habit that led to an hour's worth of tears and me finally giving in...I told the husband that I can't imagine how I will get through these rough periods...transitions...that will only get more complicated as she gets older. And again, the husband replied, "one thing at a time...one thing at a time". And so, I know one day I'll look back on these little steps in her life and wish that I could do it all over again...but for now, I can't help but think...it won't be like this for long.