Wednesday, October 17, 2012

when I grow up

If you could have any job in the world...what would it be?  Recently I've been thinking about that.  As silly a question as it is, it's recently become something of an endeavor for me...to figure out what in the world I'm supposed to be doing.  I've always had an office type position and never really felt completely settled or fulfilled.  Having gone back to work about 3 months ago I'm working out of my home now and while that sounds all idyllic...it's really been tough.  Partly because of the self-motivation, although the pace of the job has been so fast and furious I haven't as of late had trouble with that.  Maybe it's the actual stuff I'm doing...whatever it is, I know that I have that unsettled feeling.  That feeling that I should be doing something more...something creative.  I mean, I've got so much creative energy that there are times that my ear might come into question (think Van Gogh).  But, here's the problem...how do you capitalize on a quality that is hard to define?  People love to hire creative minds and forward thinkers but how do you get into that chair in their stark, bold office to profess your love of all things...er, abstract (think: outside of the box, bold thinking, artsy qualities)?  For years and years I tried to wedge my Manolo's into the razor thin door of a local advertising/magazine powerhouse...only to be told time and time again that I either had no experience or they weren't hiring.  And so, I pushed the idea of doing what I wanted to do creatively to the side and went to work doing a mundane job just like most of the people my age.  Then I started to wonder...and still do to an extent...does anyone truly love what they do.  I mean, on a day to day basis, does anyone get up in the morning excited to go to whatever it is that they do? I don't mean the workaholic type...I've known many of those.  I'm talking about someone who can't conceal the smile on their face when they talk about what they do.  That is what I want.  What do you want?

image credit: golden parachutes

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