Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Why do people always say "everything happens for a reason" to make you feel better? I mean, I even say it to myself to talk myself down from the proverbial ledge that I feel like I am constantly "hanging ten" from. While I do believe in destiny and the notion of "everything happens for a reason"...why do people say it ALL the time. Do they really believe that every mishap, missed opportunity, misadventure is laid forth for each of us? I guess I grew up believing that we make our own destiny. There is definitely a "path" but our choices make our lives what they are...sometimes it's chance and sometimes there is indeed a reason. But my question is this...is there a reason I eat soup for lunch on a 100+ degree summer day? Yes, I love soup and well...it's easy. Is there a reason I argue with Mr. Smith about finances and purchases? Yes, because we need more money and...I need more stuff. Is there a reason he broke your heart? Yes, he didn't like you anymore and...never really did. I guess maybe my above interpretations of the free flowing quip are possibly too literal but I just think it odd that it's only used as a coping device...something to get you through the ebbs...to fix things...so to speak. When I say "wow, I'm tired" and decide to go to bed at night no one ever says..."everything happens for a reason". When I'm standing in the grocery trying to coax my toddler to let go of the gigantic juice display...no one ever looks down at me with sweet eyes...knowing my struggle and inevitable outcome if my toddler's hand continues to pull...and says..."everything happens for a reason". Why is that? Why do we seek to qualify everything that goes sour in our life? And...better yet, why do we feel better when we say it? Why is it the dry-erase of phrases? Why does it have the power to make things better...make the disappointment...hurt...and pain go away? Why does it "fix" you? Is it because we are always looking for the good in things? While thinking about this phenomenon, I have come to realize that if everything really does happen for a reason then why don't we always know what the reason is...or was? If it happens for a reason and we never know what the reason was then how do we know there was a reason at all? So, I say this...we need to stop looking for the reason, start living with the consequences of our choices, mishaps, misadventures, and missed opportunities and start learning from our mistakes and believing in ourselves...because apparently the answers aren't always listed upside down in the lower left corner of the page. Now...I wrote this for a reason...wonder what it is? For a quick "fix" click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skUJ-B6oVDQ above image credit: kamilla beckett

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